Q: My fiancé, Alan, recently had a heart attack. If we go ahead with the wedding, he will be covered by my health insurance (he has none), but I'll become liable for all his current medical bills. What should I do?

A: Like Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, you've been misinformed. Individuals are not legally liable for debts their spouses incurred before they were married. As a practical matter, though, those bills do indeed come with your fiancé. The fact that you're not personally on the hook doesn't mean that, as a couple, you won't have to figure out how you're going to pay them off.

We understand why you're reluctant to put yourself in this kind of hole. But before his heart attack, Alan was the man you were committed to spending the rest of your life with, and now he really needs you. Are you obligated to marry him? No. But you do have a big-time moral obligation to help the guy out.
Questions? Email Money Magazine’s ethicists – authors of “Isn’t It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check?” (Free Press) – at FlemingandSchwarz@right-thing.net.

Is the recession killing the American culture of dining out? Recent numbers from the NPD Group research firm indicate that total restaurant industry traffic in the quarter ending in May fell 2.6% from the prior year, the steepest decline in consumer visits since 1981.

But a breakdown of the numbers reveals that many of us visit restaurants just as frequently; we're actually spending 2% more on our bills each time. The main source of the falloff is families with children, who are cutting back on dinners out — both with and without the kids. Traffic at the least expensive table-service restaurants is down 4%, while fast-food chains suffered only a 2% drop.

And compared to our relationship with most other consumer industries, the American affair with dining is thriving. Visits and expenditures in clothing stores, another measure of American consumerism, endured estimated declines of 13% in foot traffic and 2.8% sales during the first quarter.

Considering that the American savings rate has shot up since last year, restaurants likely hold a unique power to slow down the larger cultural shift in our spending habits. “We still want a convenient meal," says NPD analyst Bonnie Riggs. "A lot of us don’t want to cook.” Having established a daily routine in the boom years, whether it’s a morning run to Starbucks or a quick lunch break at the deli, it’s difficult to abruptly return to the kitchen after a long absence. Moreover, alluring recession deals keep lowering the cost of this convenience. The result is that more of our paycheck may be flowing into the industry even as restaurants suffer a drop in traffic.

In the inflationary 1980s, says Riggs, restaurant operators drove customers away by trying to pass rising food prices on to their checks. But once the industry mastered the art of dealing, she says, we remained relatively committed to dining out, with traffic changing little even through three recessions.

Dining out isn't the only nonessential item that we're still spending money on. Hershey’s reported a 5.9% uptick in sales, with a price increase more than offsetting a decline in sales. Spending money on these edible experiences rather than on possessions may make us happier, which might also explain why movie sales are booming.  These moments of bliss help fight off the economic misery that the recession has brought on.

Are you drooling over the new iPhone 3G S, anxious to get your hands on Apple's latest creation this Friday? If you plunk your money down for the shiny new toy, maybe you need to take another look at your finances.

At least that's what suggested by the blogger who runs Free From Broke, which he bills as "A Personal Finance Blog for Regular Folks." In a recent post, FFB collected his observations on 25 traits of the "not-so-well-to-do." I had a laugh going through his list. He argues that, individually, the traits aren't bad per se, but if you spot too many in some people, there's a good chance they're blowing through cash they might not even have. And number 7 on his list is always buying the latest cell phone.

Some others:

• Subscribing to too many premium cable channels ("When you mention that it’s expensive they insist that it’s cheaper because of a package.")
• Always buying the latest gadgets and newest computers ("[They] go through computers like my two year old goes through diapers!")
• Not having an online savings account ("…they don’t trust online banking, or so they claim. Yet they seem to be able to use their computers to shop online without trust issues, hmm.")
• Eating out often and expensively ("It’s great going out with these people because they are quick to pick up the tab and/or leave a ridiculous tip.")

He makes some sense to me. The temptation to buy every latest technology is strong, but giving into it ofen produces a short-lived high — and only leaves you wanting more. And unless you've got a healthy disposable income, keeping up is not easy on the wallet. Some of his other assessments seem like common sense (buying holiday gifs you can't afford is never going to be a financially sound idea), while others discourage indulgences (hey, I like my HBO).

What do you think? Is FFB's list right on, or does it just boil down to the most basic rule: Don't spend what you don't have? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.