My wife and I order a nice meal for $40 while Mike and his wife order $120 worth of food and booze it up.

I should be okay with paying an extra $40 and splitting the $160 check?

How many people are okay with subsidizing Mike's lifestyle?

When I'm feeling generous, I don't mind splitting the bill evenly or even paying for the whole tab. But I get angry when I start to realize people take advantage and some "friends" don't even try reaching for their wallet. That's when I bring cash and pay for my own stuff or ask for a separate check.

Nothing annoys me more than a bunch of friends gathering and when the bill comes, it's always short even though you yourself put in a little bit more than necessary. Don't go out if you can't afford it or order something cheaper.

I may have a larger disposable income than some of my friends, but that doesn't mean I'm responsible for their food and entertainment. Nor should they expect it.

If I'm generous, say I paid for dinner, I don't expect reciprocity. But it would be nice if people were also generous with me. If I treated at a nice restaurant, I did so because I love my friends and it's one of the ways I show it. But I also appreciate friends treating me out too, even if it's a hot dog or burger at the local dive. It's not about price parity, it's about having a bilateral friendship.

So, if you want to pay for other people's stuff, great. But be careful that you're not being taken advantage of. Because that's not how friends treat each other.

d.) Mike doesn't have any real friends. Just the same superficial types he himself appears to be. Not all of us have trust funds. Some of us work hard for our money.

My advice for the Question poser: Get a new wife, she's obviously a whiner.

————-

Look, everyone, the solution is really simpler than it appears! Why is everyone making such a big fuss about whether or not to split the check or ask for separate checks to save a couple of bucks? Follow my timeless / classic rules and you will never experience the “short-end of the stick” when dining out:

1 – When dining out with mostly strangers, casually bring up the fact that it’s your birthday tonight. They might just end up offering to pick up your portion of the tab.

2 – If the check just so happens to be placed on a tray by the waiter, and your buddies are piling cash on top of it, quickly throw in your cheaper-portion of cash in between everyone else’s bills and hope no one realizes that you paid less (just remember not to carry any big bills, $1, $5, bills works out best for this strategy as it will give the illusion that you forked out a ton of money!)

3 – If you’re buddies at the table are intoxicated enough, when the check arrives, fake an emergency bathroom visit, and stay inside the stalls long enough for the bill to be fully paid by your friends. If you suspect that your friends may not be drunk enough to fall for this, just keep ordering rounds of shots. Patience is a virtue!

4 – If you’re broke, still go out with your friends to have a great time. When the server arrives at your table, insist that you ate already and really are not that hungry (just order an ice water with lemon). As your friends start to get drunk and orders appetizers, that will naturally offer to buy you a few round of drinks and the alcohol will make them very generous in offering up those chicken fingers. (As a rule of thumb: always deny the offering at first. Say “No, no, I ate already, and not really in the mood to drink”. They will try to test your manliness, and say c’mon Kyle, have this shot of tequila. Then take one..or 2…or 15…guilt-free! and without paying a dime…

5 – Bring with you to the restaurant the latest issue of Black Belt magazine, put your glass of water on top of it, and make it known to your friends that you have study martial arts. Then let your buddies know that the thing which bothers you the most are people that eat/drink and do not pay their fair share of the bill. Proceed to crack your knuckles a few times…

6 – If you ordered an expensive dish, say a Filet Mignon, eat about half of it, then excuse yourself for a trip to the bathroom. Rip off a piece of your hair, return to your table, and when no one is looking place the hair on the steak. Call the manager over, and they will say “Sir, we’ll be glad to take that off your bill”. Works everytime! And if you were only brave enough to bring in a cockroach from home?? The opportunities would be endless!

7 – And finally, when dining out with the guys…it’s okay to not have any even split every now and then. It’s still male-bonding, and the relationship strengthens. But if you are with females only, be very careful. Never let emotions get in the way of rational thinking. You must objectively ask yourself the following:

1 – Are the girls fat? Yes = ask for separate checks!

2 – If I end up paying for another female’s portion of the bill, or contributed more cash than necessary, you must ask yourself the following: what is the projected return on investment with these females? Is it worth the risk? If the answer is No, get a separate check.

These rules have been followed since the ancient times, and have been a secret to the happiness of many individuals. I hope this helps and that you all may begin to apply these strategies the next time you are planning to go out with friends for drinks and dinner.

Posted By Coolguy, San Diego, CA: June 4, 2009 3:29 pm

No problem. I'll always pay the entire bill!

/s/

Bernard Ponzi

If yes, you should have been splitting the check a long time ago.
If no, why are you worring about this?

Who uses cash anymore? Just use a debit card, and split the checks. The server (in most cases) doesn't seem to mind.

The former is difficult to manage to and still keep this couple dinner-partner friendly, the latter is actually rather simple to manage.

For the cheapskate case, only direct, prolonged, repetitive, and obnoxious intervention will suffice – after all, the behavior IS NOT about being thrifty or cheap – its about controlling behavior to maximize advantage.

Simply ask your friends to order booze separately. They will QUICKLY self identify as either friends, or arseholes – "sure, no problem," in the first instance….and a "HOW DARE YOU!!!," in the second.

1 – When dining out with mostly strangers, casually bring up the fact that it's your birthday tonight. They might just end up offering to pick up your portion of the tab.

2 – If the check just so happens to be placed on a tray by the waiter, and your buddies are piling cash on top of it, quickly throw in your cheaper-portion of cash in between everyone else's bills and hope no one realizes that you paid less (just remember not to carry any big bills, $1, $5, bills works out best for this strategy as it will give the illusion that you forked out a ton of money!)

3 – If you're buddies at the table are intoxicated enough, when the check arrives, fake an emergency bathroom visit, and stay inside the stalls long enough for the bill to be fully paid by your friends. If you suspect that your friends may not be drunk enough to fall for this, just keep ordering rounds of shots. Patience is a virtue!

4 – If you're broke, still go out with your friends to have a great time. When the server arrives at your table, insist that you ate already and really are not that hungry (just order an ice water with lemon). As your friends start to get drunk and orders appetizers, that will naturally offer to buy you a few round of drinks and the alcohol will make them very generous in offering up those chicken fingers. (As a rule of thumb: always deny the offering at first. Say "No, no, I ate already, and not really in the mood to drink". They will try to test your manliness, and say c'mon Kyle, have this shot of tequila. Then take one..or 2…or 15…guilt-free! and without paying a dime…

5 – Bring with you to the restaurant the latest issue of Black Belt magazine, put your glass of water on top of it, and make it known to your friends that you have study martial arts. Then let your buddies know that the thing which bothers you the most are people that eat/drink and do not pay their fair share of the bill. Proceed to crack your knuckles a few times…

6 – If you ordered an expensive dish, say a Filet Mignon, eat about half of it, then excuse yourself for a trip to the bathroom. Rip off a piece of your hair, return to your table, and when no one is looking place the hair on the steak. Call the manager over, and they will say "Sir, we'll be glad to take that off your bill". Works everytime! And if you were only brave enough to bring in a cockroach from home?? The opportunities would be endless!

7 – And finally, when dining out with the guys…it's okay to not have any even split every now and then. It's still male-bonding, and the relationship strengthens. But if you are with females only, be very careful. Never let emotions get in the way of rational thinking. You must objectively ask yourself the following:

1 – Are the girls fat? Yes = ask for separate checks!

2 – If I end up paying for another female's portion of the bill, or contributed more cash than necessary, you must ask yourself the following: what is the projected return on investment with these females? Is it worth the risk? If the answer is No, get a separate check.

These rules have been followed since the ancient times, and have been a secret to the happiness of many individuals. I hope this helps and that you all may begin to apply these strategies the next time you are planning to go out with friends for drinks and dinner.

There is no need to bash the friends, and no need to bash the writer of this letter.

Many people prefer to split the check 50/50 because it is easy way to settle up- not because they are cheap or because they are suckers.

However, most of these same people won't mind a different split of the check that reflects who ordered what. If you say: "We are ordering differently than we used to in order to reduce expenses, so we were wondering if you would be ok with a different split of the check going forward?" it will probably take care of things.

In this case, a separate bar tab sounds like a good solution.

In other cases, a quick approximation may suffice to avoid a half hour analysis at the end of the meal, down to the penny. At times, some extra communication may be helpful to avoid misconceptions about intent: "It looks like about $___ for me- are you ok with that? Please tell me if you think I miscalculated."

I can't tell you how annoying it is when a bunch of girls having dinner each pay for their own portion.
My wife can't stand it and always complains about having to pay an extra $10 or so when the pot is
short and everyone is silent when asked if everyone paid enough or anything at all. Just split it 50/50
or evenly among a group of 10 or 6 etc….

My opinion is if you are not drinking get a steak or lobster to even things out. No one likes to point
people out saying "He had a steak and thats $5 more than my shrimp salad" blah blah blah.